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Premier League Predictions from Lawstrodamus

SATURDAY Arsenal v Bolton “Stained with murder and enormous adulteries, Great enemy of the entire human race: One who will be worse than his grandfathers, uncles or fathers, Kevin Davies is just...

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Teams to wear black armbands in memory of Black Armband

Black 'Blacky' Armband : 1850-2010 Premier League clubs will next weekend join forces and don black armbands in memory of Black Armband. In an official statement Premier League ideas man Richard...

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Man reminds friends he said this would happen at the start of the season

A man sat in a pub has amazed onlookers with his astonishing feats of prediction by recalling several sweeping statements he made in the run up to the current Premier League season. The man has...

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Ian Holloway already preparing an insufferable speech for Manager of the Year...

With Blackpool having exceeded all expectations in their debut Premier League season, their colourful manager Ian Holloway is many neutrals’ choice for Premier League Manager of the Year. A confident...

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Roberto Mancini’s imaginary card-waving results in imaginary ban for Martin...

FA officials studying the video of Manchester City’s 3-0 win over Liverpool have retrospectively awarded Martin Škrtel an imaginary three game ban following Roberto Mancini’s persuasive waving of an...

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Struggling Premier League managers urge panic-shooting to overcome goals...

Follow @fistedaway Reports emanating from the locality of the Sky Sports News ticker suggest that the managers of the bottom five Premier League clubs have ordered their players to shoot on sight, in...

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New advert for the Premier League is actually a terrible ‘advert for the...

Follow @fistedaway A new advert for the Premier League has received a widespread panning for being, in truth, “a terrible advert for the Premier League”. Fans and critics alike have dismissed the...

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Walcott, Sturridge form new club so they can argue over who plays down the...

Follow @fistedaway At a hastily arranged midweek, midday press conference, in a middle-of-the-road hotel in the Midlands, Arsenal’s Theo Walcott and Chelsea’s Daniel Sturridge came together to announce...

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The Back Stick of It

Follow @FootieAndMusic ::: FistedAway welcomes a guest post from Webbie, who runs the original – and still the best - Football and Music ::: [ESTABLISHING SHOT] Wide view overlooking Soho Square. The...

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